Diarrhea

OK people, I'm going to swallow my pride and give you an education on the subject, since I seem to be the expert. I'd like for you to avoid becoming one through personal experience. TRUST ME.

The day we left South Africa, I started to feel unwell. Nauseous, cranky, out of it. I attributed this to end-of-vacation irritability and too many goodbye-Africa Mojitos, topped with pizza and a shot of Jaeger at the hostel bar with our new friend from the Mojito place. Now, if you know me, that should have raised a red flag because such consumption is entirely within my limits. Back on the ground in the U.S., the situation worsened. It took on ominous tones of the Thailand experience. Oh? You don't know about the Thailand experience? Let me catch you up on LAST YEAR'S diarrhea incident:

"On Saturday, our last full day in Thailand, we went to
Chatachuk market, literally one of the largest markets
in the entire world. They have everything you can
imagine for sale (and let me tell you, it's cheap! For
example: I bought a NorthFace trekking backpack for
only $15!) It's all packed in a maze of aisles under
hot tin roofs that cover several square miles. Three
hours into this shopping expedition, I got really sick
and had to go home. I had a raging fever, was dizzy,
nauseous, and discovered a new hobby called going to
the bathroom. I continued to pursue this hobby over
the next three days, without stopping to sleep or eat.
You can imagine how much fun THAT 20-hour plane ride
home was!

THE HOSPITAL
Back in the U.S., I go right to the hospital, where I
am promptly hooked up to an IV and greeted by two cute
male nurses, who are about my age. What luck, right!?
Even in my dilapidated state, I'm joking and bantering
with them and having fun, UNTIL they have to ask me
about my "condition" and collect a "sample." SO
embarassing. I know they see way worse stuff all the
time BUT STILL!!! I mean, come on - that's funny!
Someday, I know I will run into them at the bar!!! At
least I'll have an icebreaker, I guess!!!"

OK, now you're all up to speed on my sordid diarrhea history. So, back in the U.S. last week, I'm not feeling so well, actually worse by the hour. I'll spare you the details, but long story short, I was sick for seven days. Yesterday, I had a nice chat with my doctor and here is the advice she gave me:

* when traveling overseas, pack Kaopectate and Mylanta. The Mylanta is useful to calm your stomach if you eat something spicy that disagrees with you and the Kaopectate will "bundle your stool," which will allow you to go to the bathroom "2 times a day instead of 10."
* if you come down with the diarrhea, Gatorade is your friend. It replaces electrolytes you're losing.
* even if you don't feel like it, you still need to eat. My doctor recommends the "BRAT diet": bananas, rice, applesauce and toast. Palatable even to the nauseous and good at "stool bundling." She also said yogurt can help by boosting the "good bacteria" in your system.
* while traveling, drink bottled water, even if the water is purportedly OK to drink from the tap where you're visiting (similarly, avoid pop, ice, or other non-boiled sources of tap water)
* even if the place you're visiting doesn't require it, get up-to-date on all your immunizations. Do this ahead of time because hepatitis shots, for example, are given in a series, so it takes months to complete the immunization process.
* if you get the diarrhea, and it doesn't subside in 2-3 days, see a doctor. "You can die from this," my doctor pointed out.
* don't, like me, be cocky and think that just because you're an adventurous eater and rarely get sick at home that you won't overseas (I know I said not to be cocky, but right here I have to give my intestinal bacteria props: after last year's experience, I was determined not to resort to antibiotics this time. I wanted to conquer the bacteria and hopefully build up some kind of immunity - can you even build immunity to bacteria? - so that this will never happen to me again - yeah right. After seven days, my intestinal bacteria have soundly defeated the invader bacteria without the assistance of antibiotics and I am so proud of them. Thanks bacteria! You're the best!

Anyway, there you have it. I hope it helps! That flushing sound? My dignity going down the drain!

; )

Love you, people!